At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The feeling are messing with the penis
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
