Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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