The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize