i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize