dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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