i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want nice things and good sex
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
