I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize