My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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