Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
