dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
