Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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