these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
