okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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