You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
