I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
