My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
