If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
