I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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