i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
