it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
