JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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