is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
