I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am puke
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
