Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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