you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
