People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
