THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
