I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
