There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
