I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
