mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
