My nipple is on Facebook.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
