I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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