Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
