pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the raccoons are back...
Randomize