'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
