Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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