I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
