we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
