The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
