garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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