In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
