Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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