he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
