no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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