At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
