get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
