Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
