Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
