Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
