I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize