Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
