someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
