I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
