bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize