I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
