PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
