The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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