You smell like a Billy Joel song
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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