If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
