I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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