The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
